A little help today

This has been an interesting day. Snowing and icky. Didn’t want to go to work.

Get to work and get an email that set me off a bit, but proud how I handled it. posted I. NoBS about my thoughts.

Tuned in to Corinne’s coaching today and it was about leveling up your shitty thoughts. As she’s talking she gets to an example of when we choose to feel things. guess who she mentioned! Yep, me and how I chose to think I was being addressed condescendingly. She apologized for picking on me, but honestly I couldn’t be more grateful.

Did the AD mean to be condescending? I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not, but I don’t have to take it upon myself as being irked.

Mid-call my computer died for the 4th time. IT came, swapped me out a new one, and I spent the rest of the morning trying to get everything configured. I asked for a coworker to send me a needed font to install. He didn’t have it. Neither did another. Started to get frustrated.

Wait! Stop! Back it up! I heard Corinne ask me “is this how you want to feel?” No, not at all! Plus they were not purposely withholding what I needed.

Posted to Corinne about her immediate influence and went to do leg day with E.

We started with smith machine squats.

Then a few other things that induced near vomit. Even E noticed that and asked if I felt like puking. Yes! His reply? A big smile and “good, good!”

Then kickbacks …

I have a terrible time getting my left leg up on it because of the lift on my shoe. I tried so hard today and … fell over. Fuck!

We ended with the thigh machine.

I did not look like her!

I almost cried finishing my workout. I can’t even explain how hard this was. I felt like I’d been slaughtered by the time I was done.

Wobbled to the car asking myself why I do this to myself.

So after all that I’m sitting back and reminding myself there is such a big payoff for this all.

I can and I am doing very hard things!