First off, this is not about looking for praise or reassurance, it’s purely about what’s in my head right now.

As hard as I look at these pictures, I don’t see one bit of difference in the size of my body and it’s letting Shady Karen resurface and become a bigger bitch than she’s ever been. I’ve made the list of the changes that can’t be photographed. I reached out to Coach Kristi since I’m doing one on one coaching with her and she suggested separating my physical body from my worth. That’s not doing it either for me. I know I’m a damn good person, I know I deserve so much, I know I give so much, and I know I love who I am, but….

Here, let me tell you what Shady Karen has to say:

Listen, I know you’ve done a lot of mental work over the last year and you’re so much stronger for it. I also know you’ve done a ton of working on your actually body, but let me tell you, it doesn’t show.

Girl you look just as fat as you did last year! No one in the world would believe you’ve even spent a second working on yourself looking at this! Seriously, a whole fucking year and this is your crowing glory? To still be as fucking huge as you’ve ever been? I know, I know, you feel stronger now, pedaling is so much better, you’re lifting such huge amounts of weight, but let’s face it. You’re a fat fuck, you’ll always be a fat fuck, and you’re wasting your time and your money trying to be anything else. You can believe whatever you want in your head but pictures don’t lie. Just wait until September when everyone gets to see you in person and be as disappointed in you as you are! Just give up and accept you are a dumpster fire that is never going to be put out.