Come meet my monster

He doesn’t have a name yet, but this is the little sucker that’s already terrorizing me one day after his birth. Yes, that’s right, he’s not even a day old and he’s trying to mess my goals up.

If you listened to the NoBS Summer Reset with Corinne yesterday, you know she gave some options for weight loss goals over the next 13 weeks. For those of us with more to lose, she pointed out that 24 pounds in 13 weeks is doable. Being in the 300s still, I definitely qualify for more to lose. Yesterday 24 pounds seemed so friendly.

Then I woke up, started my day and met this jack ass and he has scared the shit out of me!

Why? Seriously, why am I afraid of 24 pounds? What rational reason do I have to fear weight loss? Maybe I’ll just go a little stream of consciousness here.

Because that means I’m doing it!

What does that even mean? How does a future loss mean I’m suddenly just doing it and why again is that something to fear? I’m down 38 pounds in 15 months. Have I not been doing it? If I haven’t been doing it, what exactly have I been doing?

• 4 basics (sleep, water, doable hunger, plan)
• journal and do thought work consistently
• get coached either through one-on-one coaching (through this month) or ask coaches or on zoom
• turning to my sources of accountability and support
• work with my therapist
• attend workshops, coaching calls, watch modules
• working hard on my mobility and strength with E

So that’s everything I’ve been doing. Which are exactly the same things I need to keep doing. Where is the fear in this?

Because I might fail!

See above. I am doing all that and working on becoming more consistent and honest with it all. I have no plans to quit, so again, where is failing even becoming a factor?

Because I might not be able to sustain it!

Again, see above. Doing all that and practicing what I need to improve on is what is going to make this last. Plus I know that progress isn’t linear. Again, to not sustain it, I’d have to abandon all those bullet points. I have no plans to do this. My plans are to get better at doing them all!

I think that’s everything, at least right now. I know my monster didn’t vanish, but I know how to approach him now. He will continue to hang out for the next 13 weeks, so I really do want to name him so I can get used to saying “oh that’s just [monster’s name]! He’s a dick and he’s usually wrong!”

Name suggestions are welcome!