Got a text message this morning that E had to call out of work today because of some drama last night. He said he’d fill me in on Friday.

This left me with an afternoon off or I could keep working.

I took the afternoon off.

I went to the gym.

I debated a trike ride, but it was too cold and windy.

Got to the gym and they were horrified I hadn’t received E’s message. Made sure his boss knew he was very good about notifying me and that I’d decided to test my knowledge of what he’s taught me.

I’d say he taught me well! It was upper body stuff, so I tried a few machines and did some good cable stuff. I am just as fatigued as when he pushes me.

I got to the car and cried.

No, not pain, pride.

As with all good things, there is the thought in the back of my head of “what if I lose him as a trainer?” How will I get stronger? How will I continue? Would that be where it ends?

None of that is a worry. I mean, I don’t want him going anywhere, but I am so freaking proud of myself for not just going to the gym, but lifting in a manner that E would expect from me.

There was a point where I was doing lat pulls on the cable machine (at the 100 pounds that was so shocking a week or so ago) and I could see my muscles working in my reflection in the mirror. Seeing both arms move together, making this blob of metal go up and down, and seeing my biceps just pop out made me feel so amazing.

That kind voice, my Momma Karen voice, said “look at you sweetie! Look at those muscles working! YOU made those!”

I finished, made my way to the car and burst into tears.

See baby girl? See? It’s all in you! Just like MJ told you Sunday, you know, it’s in you. Like Corinne tells you, you know the answers when you talk it out. Now this is part of you now too!

I’m so proud of the woman I am right now!