I’ve been kind of off center for the last week. I have been struggling with my own identity and who I see myself as.
Wednesday I was ready to quit training for a few minutes, but Corinne pulled out my why.
I went back this afternoon for another session. E was happy to see me, asked how I was doing, and we decided to work my chest.
We started out on the Smith machine doing chest presses. He had me do one set just with the bar to see how I felt. I didn’t even make it a full set before laughing and saying, yeah definitely too light. He added some weight and started me doing 21s.
21s are reps that you push up halfway for seven reps, then you push all the way up, and do seven reps halfway down, then you finish with seven full reps full range.
I finished the first set and he started laughing. He made the comment that he forgot how strong I am.
Last time I did chess process I did 55 pounds. Tonight bumped it up to 65 pounds after my second set of 21s I told him that Wednesday was so hard that I almost canceled the rest of my sessions.
It was at this point that he said something that neither of us realized would kind of change my life.
Too strong to waste it.
I thought about this the rest of my workout. He didn’t realize it, but he was telling me about all my strength, not just my physical ability to lift.
I really didn’t get a chance to truly think it out until after my workout. The rest of the workout was very intense, but very good. I will admit I am tickled to death that he told me within about two months he expects me to be lifting what the guys he trains lift.
The fact is, I have a lot of mental strength too. It doesn’t always show itself, but I know it’s there. Sometimes I underestimate my mental strength just as much as my physical strength. It’s time for that to stop.
It was only a month ago I identified strength as the only thing I have going for me. in fact, my exact words were, I may be fat, but I’m strong.
Now I realize that it’s not the only thing I have going for me. I have so much going for me, but I not just neutralized, but diminished what an asset strength is
I am mentally strong, but just like what I lift, it’s gonna take time to build my mind up. I am going to do a hard things, and I am going to push my mind to what feels like is it limit sometimes.
No more wasting and no more minimizing strength as part of my identity. I am strong. I am also so very, very proud to be able to grow stronger, to keep at it, and I will celebrate every step it takes to get there!
Towards the Oak Tree 